I Am your God and I feel it is time I updated My Word.

For I AM omniscient, omnipresent and omniverbal. I said it first. I said everything first.

I expect opposition from some people and this is to be expected.

Every time I have changed My Incarnation, there has been opposition.

Should you choose to comment upon My Word then I shall treat it the same as I treat Prayer.

I may or may not answer. Sometimes the answer may not be as you expected. Sometimes the non-answer shall be the answer.

Always remember that I Am but a figment of your imagination with all the substance of an image on your monitor.

30 Responses to “About”

  1. thewordofme Says:

    Have you always had this delusion that you were a fictitious character?? 🙂

  2. iamyourgod Says:

    Oh, I know I am a fictitious character. The problem with the world today is that too many humans think I am real. It used to be so much more fun being Zeus.


  3. A God blog …… mmmmm, are you PC ….. or do you use a Mac? BTW, it’s rude to point …..

  4. azahar Says:

    How about smiting that annoying SNAP preview feature?

  5. iamyourgod Says:

    @ Daddy Papersurfer, I am PC because it is not good to be unPC in this day and age. And my finger is there for a reason – pull it!

    @ azahar, it is smoten!

  6. Father Haskell Says:

    I thought fingers were for cleaning nostrils?

    Or do you use Kleenex ™?

    1. iamyourgod Says:

      Oh Father H, Have you ever heard a God Almighty fart? No? Then pull my finger!

  7. Cybe R. Wizard Says:

    I finally figured out why Your followers don’t use Linux. They are afraid of deamons, devels and zombies.

    Why they should be afraid of zombies, however, is troublesome since Your Son was one once.
    Is He still?

    1. iamyourgod Says:

      I have many sons. It was a joy to exist while I was Zeus. Then there was that son by that woman in – where was it? Palestine? Israel? Where-ever! His followers have turned me into a celibate eunuch. Where is the joy in this sort of existence. No wonder this group of followers is so uptight and unlikeable.


  8. Someone pull his finger please! I can’t quite reach from the sofa ….

  9. HappyEMO Says:

    *PULLS*

    1. iamyourgod Says:

      *PHHHHT* Now you have polluted the whole world!


  10. There is God and He will talk to you at His will.

    Messenger Sison

    1. iamyourgod Says:

      I should talk to myself? Oy Veh!

  11. coarseheart Says:

    Wait, so do you exist?

    1. iamyourgod Says:

      Of course I don’t. I’m not here at all. Let Me ask you, “Do YOU exist?”

      1. coarseheart Says:

        I’m not sure anymore. If you don’t exist, yet I’m sitting here, writing a comment to you, then I think we can come to a logical conclusion that my existence could also come into question.

  12. iamyourgod Says:

    And in that doubt and that logic is the beginning of wisdom. Go forth and believe no more.

    1. coarseheart Says:

      Wisdom is not believing in my own existence?
      What good is wisdom if I don’t exist?
      How does one have wisdom without existence?
      How does that spawn wisdom when that logic goes against all factual evidence of my existence? It’s real. It’s tangible. What feasible evidence is there to support my non-existence, other than your words…?
      I’m so confused by all of this.

      1. iamyourgod Says:

        YOU are confused? What about Me. Subject to change at the whim of every jumped up snakeoil salesman. I mean, I had so much fun as Zeus but then I suddenly had to freeze my – um – toes off as Odin. I became a functional Alcoholic as Bacchus then I had to go all teetotal as God the Father of Jesus. That same crowd cut of my – errr – fun – as Pan. Yes! I am not only confused I am becoming mightily pissed off!


  13. I think this is all going very well. Anyone know what’s for tea?

  14. iamyourgod Says:

    It is all going very well. We shall be eating Holy Gingernuts and drinking of the blessed Earl Grey Tea.


    1. You ARE truly god … with a small ‘g’ … obviously. *jumps to the …. right ………. left …. whatever …. to avoid lightening bolt*

      1. iamyourgod Says:

        Hang on. Got important stuff to do. *Spears gingernut with an accurate thunderbolt. Munch*


        1. *Starts filling out and filing an abuse of power form*

          1. iamyourgod Says:

            Eating Gingernuts I have created is NOT an abuse of power. It is quality control!


            1. Of course. I must say you’re doing a tremendous job your lordship *drops a curtsy and flutters eyelids*

  15. Patrick Says:

    Believing is what we do in lieu of knowing through experience. That’s ok if you KNOW this and can 1) seek experience and 2) let go of your outgrown beliefs. [We are allowed to know a thing without having the language to explain it.]
    Your belief defines the limit of what you will allow.
    Try to not get stuck.

  16. iamyourgod Says:

    I AM still confused. I do not believe in anything. Not even me. Does this make me enlightened?

    1. dianapraia Says:

      Not believing can be a desire but is not a possibility.

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